Please tell me it will. Please tell me. We need something, anything. Rumours continue, but nothing new overall ; I have heard that the Rooney deal is done and will be announced on 1st July, but I don’t believe that for a second. I would be astonished if United sold him to another English club. Not that I am ITK or anything ; I am nowhere near enough of an insecure knobhead to claim that.

Fixtures come out on Wednesday, so it means we can forget about signings and departures for one day at least. Keep an eye on @REDactionAFC’s twitter account as they might have an exclusive reveal on the first fixture on Tuesday evening. Wait and see.

We can then get back to panicking about the state of the squad before that first fixture. I have a particular interest this year, as we are expecting a baby in late September, so I hope the fixtures around that date are rather moribund and average ; Home to Aston Villa, and away to Norwich, I’m looking at you……….

Everyone seems to be getting their knickers in a twist about the ’Koscielny to Barca’ non story ; the guy has got four year left on his contract for Chrissakes ; We don’t sell our best players when they are under contract, do we? DO WE? Everybody be like a couple of Fonzies and stay cool.

Hopefully, the media will concentrate on trying to sell Bale to Real Madrid, instead of unsettling our players. It’s been a while since Spurs had a player the Superpowers of world football have been interested in, and they will soon learn how it all works. The Real chairman makes a few comments in the press, Zinedine Zidane sticks his oar in to make a few more, then Real make a low ball bid of about £15m to unsettle the player, and then they eventually get their man for £30m. Just you wait and see.

Luckily, none of our players are good enough for such a tactic this summer, so our plans have worked perfectly. Bendtner would like to think so, but people who have seen him in action know better. ‘Operation clear out the Deadwood’ is ongoing, but it’s hard going ; Do YOU want an overpaid under achieving squad player? Then you’ve come to the right place! Get your bargains now for Arsene & Ivan’s summer clearout. Ample free parking.

Get rid of them ; you can’t polish a turd.

Til next week.